Share our lives - I wish I had known!

It's that time of the month again when I join in with the Share Our Lives bloggers. This month's prompt is: I wish I had known!

I wish I had known is such a simple sentence but it really had me thinking and I found this blog post really hard to write, not because I didn't know what to write, I just had too much! There have been so many "I wish I had known" moments throughout my life.

I wish I had known about my girl's heart defects sooner!

This was the first thing that I thought of. I always wonder and think I wish I had known. For so long, the problems with my girl's hearts went undetected. They were both born with holes in their hearts which needed surgery to fix and are left with leaky valves now. I was just an irrational young mother saying to any health professional that would listen that something wasn't right. The day my youngest was born she was sweating a lot and the nurses said it was normal as it was a warm day, it wasn't normal. My eldest couldn't put weight on, she was skin and bones despite me feeding her as much as she would eat. The health visitor told me to feed her fatty food, all the things that in hindsight probably weren't great for her heart. Then there were the constant chest infections and colds they would catch, all normal, apparently. All of those things were because my girl's hearts were working harder than they should. When the reality finally came crashing down it was overwhelming. The appointments, the specialist visits, the what if's but the relief was amazing too. It turns out mother really does know best. If I’d known I’d have fought harder, asked more questions, pushed for more opinions but hindsight is funny like that. You can’t change what you didn’t know at the time.

I wish I had known that losing things gets worse as you get older!

I honestly thought I would become more organised with age but no! The older I have got, the more I have become that person who puts something somewhere safe and then spends the next hour trying to remember where that safe place is. I find myself looking for my phone when it is in my hand and that thing I was looking for is usually right in front of me. Life now has a built-in treasure hunt. lol

I wish I had known to enjoy time with my girls more when they were younger!

When you are in the thick of it raising little ones, you spend so much time constantly looking ahead to the next big milestone. I was guilty of it when my girls were little. I was always wishing time forward: I couldn't wait until they slept through the night, learnt to walk and talk, I couldn't wait for them to start school and so on. Looking back now that they are older, I miss those younger years. I do wish I had slowed right down and soaked in the magic of those everyday moments while they were happening. The endless bedtime stories, sitting in the park shivering while they happily played, them asking why about everything, the disaster zone of a kitchen after we tried baking together, those days out that felt like such an effort at the time but turned out to be our absolute best family memories and even the arguments over their homework. Now that the house is quieter and they're all grown up, those are the moments I'd give anything to have back just for one more afternoon.

I wish I had known that rest isn't something you have to earn!

Ugh, the guilt that used to come with just sitting down on the sofa for five minutes! For years, I had an invisible checklist running in my head and I wouldn't let myself actually relax until every single job was ticked off. I used to treat downtime like a prize that I had to work hard for. I would make the beds, put a load of washing on and have a quick tidy around before my first cup of tea in the morning. Why? No one was here saying I had to work to have a cuppa. It took me far too long to realise that rest isn't a reward! These days I am trying to be much kinder to myself. If I want to spend an hour just sitting there watching rubbish on TV or scroll on my phone, I do it without the guilt trip. The jobs around the house will always be there after I have relaxed for a little while.

I wish I had known sooner that not everything deserves a reaction!

Learning to bite your tongue is definitely one of those things that seems to come with age because I certainly didn’t have that skill when I was younger! I used to be the sort of person who felt like every little comment, disagreement or bit of drama needed an answer. If someone said something I didn’t like, I’d be straight in there, ready to explain myself and set the record straight. As I’ve got older I’ve realised that not everything needs a response. Sometimes people are looking for a reaction and the best thing you can do is not give them one. These days I let a lot more things slide. In real life, I’ll smile, nod and carry on with my day. Online it’s even easier. I can just ignore it, mute someone or block them. Life is too short to spend your time arguing with people who have already decided what they think anyway.

I wish I had known that being a good mother doesn’t mean being perfect!

Being a good mother doesn’t mean being perfect! I used to put so much pressure on myself to get everything right and compare myself to other mums so much. I always felt like I could be doing more and had a little voice telling me that I could have done something better but the older I’ve got, the more I’ve realised that children don’t need a perfect mam. They need someone who loves them, supports them, listens to them and is there when they need them. I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way but my girls have never held those against me. They know I love them and they know I’ve always been there for them. That means far more to me than whether I got every single parenting decision right.

I wish I had known how much fun middle age would actually be!

The world tells us that getting older is all downhill and middle age something to dread but no one really talks about the good parts. About the freedom that comes with getting older or the confidence that slowly appears when you stop worrying about the little things. I love being in my 40s. I am comfortable in my own skin, I don't have to impress everyone any more, I have life experience, survived things I once thought I couldn’t and I have become kinder to myself. Middle age isn’t the end, it is just the beginning. Getting older was definitely not something to fear.

What about you? What do you wish you had known?

I am linking up with:

Adrienne from Mom Life with Adrienne.

Dara from Not In Jersey.

Jen from Show me & Sweet tea.

Joanne from Slices of Life.

Our weekly meal plan! 14th - 20th September! #MealPlanningMonday

Happy Monday! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. We had a nice quiet one, which was just what we needed after all the birthday celebrations we've had lately. In the space of three and a half weeks, we have Stu's birthday, Ellie's birthday and Becky's birthday. I love birthdays, and I love having reasons to celebrate, but it is a lot when they all come along one after the other. There is always something to organise, presents to think about, cards to buy and, of course, food to eat! I wouldn't change it though. Now we have a few months' break until it is my birthday.

Last week's meal plan went well. I did swap a couple of meals around but we ate just about everything. Our favourite meal was of course the roast chicken dinner yesterday. I even enjoyed cooking it. It's nice to eat out on a Sunday but even nicer to eat it at home, it is just a lot of effort! There are leftovers, of course and I am planning on using them up today.

We are back using Gousto boxes again this week. If you haven't heard of Gousto before, it is one of those recipe box services where you pick a few meals from their menu and they send you the ingredients you need to make them at home. I decided to order another box after I received an email offering me 40% off the next two boxes I bought, followed by 20% off a few more. I do like a discount. I got a little carried away with ordering the meals and when I was choosing the recipes, I ordered the Creamy Chicken, Leek & Carrot Pie without realising that we were already having pie today! I am going to cook the filling and freeze it. Then I can use it another time when we fancy a pie.

I have quite a bit on this week, a mixture of things I need to do and things I actually want to do. I am helping my dad out with some paperwork but it will be time spent with my dad and he will feed me lunch, so that's a bonus. I am also planning on having a mooch around the shops to look at all the autumn things. I don't need anything but that has never stopped me having a look! I also have a few life admin jobs to get done. Nothing exciting but I am hoping to tick a few things off this week so I can feel a little more organised. It seems like a good mix of fun and boring things. Becky is also back at work after almost two weeks off, so that is going to be a shock to her system. Ellie is still plodding on with the job hunting. Ugh!

On the menu this week we have:

Monday - Leftover roast dinner pie!

We are starting the week with one of my favourite make it up as you go along meals. We had a roast chicken dinner yesterday, so I am planning on using whatever is left to make a pie. I'll mix the leftover meat, pigs in blankets, stuffing and veg with some gravy, pop it into a pie dish and cover it with ready-made pastry. Then it just needs to go into the oven. I am sure there will be leftover mashed potato to eat it with too.

Tuesday - Gousto meal - Baked Chicken Thigh & Almond Curry With Rice And Naan!

We have had this before and it is delicious. The curry is made with chicken thighs in an almond and garam masala sauce. Finished with creamy yoghurt and served with rice and warm mini naan bread. I do like trying different curry recipes at home and this is a good one. We have a few favourites that we go back to that my whole family enjoy.

Wednesday - Gousto meal - One Pan Alpine-Style Sausage & Waxy Potato Hash!

This is a one-pan meal and less washing up is always a good thing. The sausages and onions get cooked together with crushed potatoes until everything is golden and crispy around the edges. Then it all gets coated in butter and herbs with a bit of thyme and topped with melted cheese. This is one of the only Gousto meals that Stu has ever cooked. It took him about an hour and a half and he decided there and then he hated making Gousto recipes. I made the same meal a little while later and it took about half an hour at the most and Stu just couldn't understand how. I told him it's because I am a better cook than him. Hehehe

Thursday - Gousto meal - One Tray Fishcake With Peri Peri Wedges & Sweet Chilli Slaw!

This meal seems a bit different from what we usually get from Gousto. Usually I would have to make the fish cakes but these are all ready just to pop in the oven. I'm not complaining, usually by Thursday I am losing the will to cook.

Friday - Chip shop tea!

We are back to having a chip shop tea this week and I am looking forward to it. No cooking and no fuss. The biggest drama is deciding what we fancy. Fish and chips? Sausage and chips? A burger? Kebab? Maybe a pie? There are so many options.

Saturday - Burgers in buns!

We will be having burgers in buns with the usual toppings, such as cheese, onions, lettuce and whatever sauces everyone fancies. We can all put our own burgers together, which is handy because not everyone likes the same things. I think I will make some onion rings and corn on the cob to go with them.

Sunday - A help yourself evening!

I have no plans for Sunday at all. Everyone can help themselves to whatever they fancy and use up bits from the fridge, freezer and cupboards. There is always something that needs using up.

What are you eating this week?

A photo every day for a year! 6th - 12th September! Week 37 of #Project365

Happy Sunday!! I hope you've all had a lovely week and are enjoying your weekend. We have had a great week with lots of nice things happening! Birthday celebrations for Becky, a nice meal out, sorting the garden, lots to watch on the TV and my dad feeling better after a trip to the hospital. He got bit by something on his big toe, it doubled in size, turned bright red and he could hardly walk. He's got a bunch of tablets, is feeling much better now and is running rings around us again. Phew! I would like to think this would teach him to wear proper socks and shoes when he is out working instead of Crocs with no socks but I don't think he will have learnt his lesson.

We had a lovely quiet day on Friday. My dad popped round to show me he could walk properly again and he ended up staying longer than he had planned. He only put the cricket on to check the score and an hour later he was still watching while having a chat. Yesterday I spent the day having a good tidy up and clean around the house and really enjoyed myself with a playlist of sing-along songs. hehehe Today is all about sport, of course which is pretty normal for a Sunday. F1 and then some football. It's Man City V Man United this afternoon, which I am quite looking forward to. I am also cooking a proper roast dinner today. Chicken, all the veggies, pigs in blankets, Yorkshire Puddings and lots of gravy!

Now for a photo every day!

249/365 6th September

We of course watched the F1 race. It was, of course, full of drama. Is there ever an F1 race that doesn't have something happening!

250/365 7th September

Stu and I had a busy day on Monday pottering around the garden. I did the weeding while he mowed the grass and we also got a few loads of washing drying on the line. It is getting to that point in the year when I am making the most of drying clothes outside. It won't be long until it is too cold, too wet or just too miserable and the tumble dryer will have to do its thing.

251/365 8th September

Becky made lasagne from scratch and did a fantastic job! There were leftovers too, which is always a bonus.

252/365 9th September

Ellie got her certificates through the post from the Mechanical Engineering course that she did in college. It was really nice seeing them arrive and having something official to show for all the work she put into the course. Of course, I had to take a photo because that's what Project 365 is all about. I like being able to capture these little moments.

253/365 10th September

It was Becky's birthday and her presents were sat there for most of the day. It wasn't until about 10pm until she got around to opening them. She was very happy with everything she received.

254/365 11th September

My dad came around with a present for Becky. There is a story behind these ducks. My dad has had them hanging on one of his doors with bath towels on for years. He has always said they would be left to Becky, so she had known for ages that they were eventually going to be hers and then, completely by chance, my dad came across another hanger that was exactly the same! He knew Becky would love it, so he got it and she was over the moon about it.

255/365 12th September

We're back on the Gousto Boxes! I pick the recipes and they send everything I need to make them! The fridge is now full of everything that I need to make 4 meals that we will have next week.

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This week my Word of the Week is: Merriment! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

Over the past couple of months I have had a few things going on in real life that has caused me some stress. Nothing massive and not one big thing, lots of little things which haven't seemed worth writing about. You know when there are loads of small things niggling away at you and you can't really put your finger on one particular thing? That has been me lately but over the last week or so things seemed to have settled and worked themselves out. This is the first week in a few months that I have felt truly happy and relaxed and this week has been full of laughter, celebrations, good times and plenty of things to smile about.

I think Merriment is a good Word of the Week for me this week. Merriment basically means laughter, happiness and having fun and I think that sums up my week quite well. After having a few things on my mind lately, it has been really nice to have a week when I haven’t been worrying about every little thing and have just been able to enjoy myself a bit more. Sometimes you don’t realise how much you need a week like this until you actually have one. I’ve laughed more, enjoyed myself more and just felt like things are starting to settle down a bit.

Becky spent some time in the kitchen earlier in the week and she did make me laugh. She felt like she had been slaving away all afternoon making a lasagne from scratch and a sponge cake. I said that is the story of my life, cooking meals from scratch most days. lol She cooks one meal and thinks she deserves a medal. Although next week and for the next few weeks at least, I will be getting Gousto boxes again. I was sent an email with 40% off for the next two boxes and then 20% off for a few more. I have already picked the meals for next week which I am very excited about.

I have had a busy week of pottering around the house, having a tidy up in the garden, doing some life admin and of course, wrapping birthday presents. It was Becky's birthday on Thursday and she had a great day despite spending most of it in bed after having a night out on Wednesday evening. There were cheap drinks and late-opening bars in town, so she made the most of it. I think she was glad of a quiet family meal on her actual birthday. There is nothing wrong with having a big night out followed by a very lazy birthday day in bed. Sometimes that is exactly what you need. 

I have been on writing this blog post for over an hour as I keep getting distracted by the TV. As I type this I am watching Friday Night Dinner, a British sitcom about a family who have dinner together every Friday night. The two grown up sons constantly wind each other up and play silly pranks. Their parents, Jackie and Martin are pretty strange themselves, while their neighbour Jim keeps turning up uninvited. I haven't watched it since it was on TV years ago and I really did forget how funny it was. I haven't stopped chuckling to myself and sometimes laughing out loud. I was also trying to paint my nails at the time and did a very bad job with all the laughing and then laughing at myself getting the nail polish everywhere. Oops.

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one! I am of course linking up with Anne who blogs at Raisie Bay to join in with her Word of the Week linky!