This week my Word of the Week is: Gentle!! #WotW

This week my Word of the Week is:

On Sunday, in my Project 365 post I mentioned that I hadn’t been feeling great and had a bit of a cough. At the time I thought it'd pass, it’s probably nothing. Famous last words! By Monday morning that cough had decided it wasn’t leaving quietly and turned into a full-blown cold. Thankfully, this week turned out to be very gentle, which was exactly what I needed. I didn’t have much planned, which meant I could slow things down without feeling guilty. The cold itself wasn’t even that bad. No aching limbs, no headaches and no tiredness. It was mostly a blocked/snotty nose and a cough that refused to budge for a few days. The only real tiredness came from waking myself up during the night. Either for a drink of water or because my body suddenly decided it needed to sneeze right that second. It's not fun waking up mid-sneeze when you’re not prepared for it. Everything jolts at once and I actually thought I’d put my back out at one point. lol

My family knew I was under the weather so they really stepped up this week. Just doing lots of small, thoughtful things that made my days easier. Helping out more around the house, doing bits without being asked, helping with the cooking and just being a bit more patient with each other. When everyone pulls together like that everyone feels happier, not just me and the house runs more smoothly. I did think how nice it would be if this was normal all the time but I'm a realist. Once I’m back to normal we’ll probably drift back into our usual ways. It was nice while it lasted.

Even though I wasn’t feeling great I still managed to tick quite a few things off my to-do list. I didn’t go into this week with big expectations. My goal was simply to get through the days without feeling worse and anything else was a bonus and because of that, every little job I managed felt like an achievement. I did more decluttering in mine and Stu’s bedroom and I also managed to keep on top of the clean washing. The longest it stayed on the dining room table was a few hours, which is a miracle in this house.

This week also had me thinking about Stu and his work situation again. If you’ve been reading here for a while, you might remember last year when he was really disheartened at work. He was close to walking out more than once and even started applying for other jobs. He had interviews and got offers but none of them felt right for him or for us as a family, so he turned them down. In the end, he stayed in the job he hated but he wasn't quiet about it. He told his managers some home truths about what he would and wouldn’t do in his role. I think he reached a point where he had nothing to lose and they took it quite well. Instead of pushing back, they listened, they even seemed to respect him for standing his ground. Since then, things have changed so much. They still mention targets but there’s no pressure. If he feels selling something to someone isn’t right, he doesn’t do it and doesn’t get pulled up for it either. They don’t chase him about compulsory overtime now either and it has really changed his mood about work. I wouldn't say he is happy but he is less frustrated with it.

Looking back over the week, gentle really does fit perfectly. Gentle on my body while I wasn’t feeling great, gentle expectations of myself, gentle support from my family and even the work worries that used to feel so big and take up so much space in my head feel gentler now. I’m hoping the cold fully clears off soon and that I can carry a bit of this gentler pace into the next week too.

How has your week been? I hope you have had a good one! I am of course linking up with Anne who blogs at Raisie Bay to join in with her Word of the Week linky!

What I have loved this week! Week 3. #FridayFavourites

I hope you have all had a good week. I've been full of cold, not enough to send me to my bed but enough that I am annoyed with my snotty nose, my sleep has been disrupted and everything feels like hard work. I am of course linking up with Erika and Andrea today to share the things which I have loved from the past week, there's not many things but there's some.

Marmite Beef & Onion Pastry Pie With Peas!

This was one of the meals I ordered to come with our Gousto box and I thought it would be just average and I was so, so wrong! It was amazing! We are not usually fans of Marmite. The only time I eat it is when it comes in a Gousto recipe, but this time I think it really added something special and I think the fact that Stu was helping me cook really helped me enjoy the meal more, even the peas! hehehe I will eat them but I don't usually enjoy them but this time I added some mint sauce and they were so good! Stu was very kind to me and left the leftover portion for me to have for lunch the next day. I had half a tin of beans with it and it felt like such a treat to have instead of my usual soup or a sandwich.

The Twilight Saga!

I had planned to sleep until mid-morning on Sunday but my body had other ideas. I was sneezing and coughing, so thought I might as well get up so by half past nine I was deciding what to watch. I fancied something easy to watch that I had seen before so I went with Twilight and then carried on watching the rest of the movies in the series for the rest of the day. There were five of them so that kept me occupied and I did not feel any guilt about being lazy.

Warm weather!

Over the weekend it was about 2 degrees Celsius, which is about 35F. It was colder the week before but on Monday it got warm, well warm considering the time of year. It got up to 11°C, which is 51F. It was so strange to open the back door and not be hit by the cold air. We can't have it all though. It was warmer but it also rained a lot. Hmmf. Yesterday it actually felt warmer outside than it did inside, I would have been tempted to get out in the garden but it was raining again.

My dressing table!

It's usable again! Over the last couple of months, it turned into a right mess! Everything was everywhere and there was no organisation. It was on my list of things to sort out and declutter and I did just that during the week. Everything that I had not used in the last year went into a pile for Ellie to sort through. She claimed a few things and the rest went into the bin. I gave everything a good clean and put everything where it should be. Phew!

Finishing my first audiobook of the year!

I did it, I finally finished an audiobook. The last one I listened to took me about a year and it was about 10 hours long. The latest one I listened to took me 2 weeks and it was about the same length and I am feeling pretty proud of myself. I'm hooked now, I have a list of books that I want to listen to and I have already started my next one!

What have you loved over the last week?

Yes, I talk to myself and it actually helps!

I’ve realised something about myself lately, I talk to myself. Not just in my head but out loud and I do it a lot! My family think I am crazy for it and are always asking "what are you saying? are you talking to me?" I'm not, I'm talking to myself, sometimes in a whisper and sometimes in a full voice. I used to think this was something to be embarrassed about but the more I notice it, the more I understand how much it helps me.

I think the habit must have started when my girls were young. Like so many parents I used to narrate everything I was doing for the benefit of them. It was a way to teach them to speak and to make the world a little more understandable. What I didn’t realise was that this running commentary would linger long after the kids no longer needed it. Now that they’re older I seem to keep myself company instead.

Talking to myself has become a comforting background noise. When I’m tidying up I’ll say aloud what I need to do next. Hang the washing out and then I will wash the dishes. It’s not that I’d forget these things but speaking them out loud gives them a sort of reality. If I hear something I am more likely to act on it and do what I need to do!

It’s also a form of thinking aloud. When I’m faced with a decision I talk through the options as if explaining them to someone else. Of course, there is no one else in the room but hearing my own reasoning helps me clarify what I really think. It’s as though speaking the words untangles my thoughts. What felt confusing inside my head sounds simple and clear when I have spoken it out loud.  

Then there are the pep talks which I give myself all of the time. On tired mornings when I really don’t feel like getting out of bed I’ll mutter to myself "Come on, get up and just get moving!!" Later on in the day I might say "Come on finish mopping the bathroom floor and then you can have a sit down." I motivate myself with these little chats. 

Not all of my self talk is so purposeful. Sometimes it’s just sheer habit. You’ll often hear me sighing "stupid thing" when a cupboard won’t close properly or muttering "why are these lids so stupid?" when trying to open a jar of something. When I do manage something particularly difficult without swearing I tell myself "well done!" I praise myself and why not? 

What surprises me most is how much this talking to me helps me feel less alone during the day. My house is empty a lot of the time. With one girl at work or sleeping for work and the other at college or out with friends I often find myself in a quiet house. I used to find that silence unsettling but now talking to myself fills that empty space. There are moments when I catch myself talking to myself and wonder what an outsider would think. Would people assume I’d finally lost the plot but then I remind myself that so many of us do this maybe not everyone admits it but I’m certain it’s more common than we realise. I think it’s a perfectly natural way to manage the noise of life, to organise our thoughts and to add a little humour into the everyday.

So yes, I talk to myself. I no longer feel silly about it, I embrace it because if I can be my own best company and my own motivator that seems like a pretty useful life skill to me!

Do you talk to yourself out loud? Do you find it strange?

The Wednesday Hodgepodge #38

I hope you are all having a good week. It's Wednesday which means it's time to join in with the Wednesday Hodgepodge with Joyce who blogs at From This Side of the Pond! It's been a while since I last joined in and I have missed it! Each week there are 6 questions, we answer and then link up. Simple!

1. What kind of winter person are you-snow lover, fireplace snuggler, winter adventurer, or indoor hibernator? Elaborate.

I’m 100% an indoor hibernator! Winter is something I like to admire from a safe distance, preferably through a window with the heating on and a hot drink in my hand! I love how winter looks, it's pretty with the snow falling and icy mornings but I am that person who refuses to step outside unless I really have to because it’s just too cold! Being a hibernator isn’t lazy, it’s smart. I’m conserving energy and mentally preparing myself for spring when suddenly I’ll feel the urge to clean everything, go outside and pretend I’m an outdoorsy person again but for now I will stay inside where my blanket is!

2. The Pantone color of the year is cloud dancer, described as a gentle, billowy off white shade. The color symbolizes 'peace, clarity, quiet reflection, renewal, and a soft reset'. Of the terms just listed which do you need most in your life this winter?

Peace. Definitely peace! I am not even after the unrealistic kind where nothing goes wrong and everyone behaves perfectly but the calm, everyday peace that makes life feel a bit easier. I want peace in my head most of all. Less overthinking, fewer spirals that start with one tiny thought and somehow end up with me questioning my entire life. I also need to stop carrying everyone else’s worries around like they’re mine to sort out. Somewhere along the way I seem to have picked up the role of emotional storage unit and I’m done with that now. Other people are allowed to have problems that don’t require my attention. I need to accept that not everything needs fixing right now. Some things can wait, some things will work themselves out and some things are simply not my responsibility.

3. Every cloud has a silver lining, on cloud nine, head in the clouds, storm clouds gathering, or cloud of suspicion...which 'cloud' idiom do you most relate to currently? Explain.

I would choose Every cloud has a silver lining. Not because everything is amazing all the time, far from it but because I’ve got better at spotting the good bits hiding in the annoying, not so great moments. Like last week, we got a bus and it turns out it went the long way around which I was annoyed with at first but the silver lining was that we weren't sat in the cold bus station waiting for a later bus which was quicker and we got to where we were going at the perfect time instead of being too early. Even in the smaller, everyday stuff I find silver linings. It's freezing out which isn't fun but the silver lining is that no one judges anyone for staying inside where it's warm.

4. Coconut, cauliflower, cottage cheese, mayonnaise, onions, ranch dressing...of the white foods listed, which would be the hardest for you to give up? Do you like all or any of the foods on the list?

I think the ones I’d really struggle to give up would be mayonnaise or onions. Mayonnaise is just one of those things that sneaks into meals and makes it better. Sandwiches feel naked without it, wraps taste dry and it makes salads enjoyable. I eat a lot of onions and they might seem basic but they add so much flavour to everything. In soups, casseroles, on burgers, in stir fries, salads or even raw in sandwiches. Giving them up would make my cooking feel boring!

I’d be okay without coconut, cauliflower, cottage cheese and ranch dressing. Coconut is lovely in desserts or a curry but it’s not something I eat a lot of. I don't like cauliflower at all and only eat cottage cheese with pineapple in it. I don’t really eat ranch dressing because it’s not a big thing over here in the UK. You rarely see it stocked in shops and it’s definitely not a go-to like mayo or salad cream.

5. Thomas Wentworth Higginson is credited with this quote -

"How many lessons of faith and beauty we should lose, if there were no winter in our year."

Agree or disagree? Tell us why.

I agree with this one. Winter makes me notice things I'd normally ignore, like the way the sun glints on frosty grass or how amazing a hot drink tastes when I'm freezing. It’s like, without winter we’d just take all the nice, cosy stuff for granted. It can be grim sometimes with dark mornings, frozen toes and all that but that’s what makes the good bits feel so much better. Spring and summer would be boring without winter making us appreciate them so much.

6. Insert your own random thought here.

It is Sunday morning and I had hoped to have a long lie-in but it didn't happen. I was up just after 9am which might seem late to some but I was aiming for at least half past ten! I'm not even sorry, we had no plans for the day and it's raining outside. I remember in my younger years, before my girls were born I could quite easily sleep until lunchtime, having a full 12 hours or even more but as I have got older I find myself sleeping less. I suppose it is a good thing, I can fit more into my day like writing this blog post and for the rest of the day I have nothing planned apart from seeing how many of the Twilight movies I can watch. Hehehe